Religion and secularism

Religion is generally understood to be a faith or belief in God alongwith certain traditions and customary rites and rituals performed by the adherents of that faith. A religious group is one which follows a common set of beliefs and traditions.
Secularism is not an absence of religion. Secularism involves respecting each religion equally. It means not promoting one religion at the expense of another. It also means not persecuting anyone simply on the ground of their religious beliefs. It is expected from a secular society that it will be more progressive as compared with a religious society because it moves ahead of certain bias that is prevalent in closed religious groups. Secularism is a boon only as it prevents orthodox beliefs and encourages free debates in all fields of life and science. It will not allow society to be blinded by superstitious beliefs. But it has a very hard task of maintaining an equilibrium between the various segments of the society. A balance has to be maintained for the progress of the society otherwise in a pluralistic society tragedies can be hard to prevent.

Slumber

Tragedies occur, we react, we become active for some time and then again we return to our slumber. We tend to forget. We forget about the lives lost, we forget about the families destroyed. We forget everything and move on with our mundane life. Till another tragedy strikes, whether natural or man made. We wake up once more, protest and forget again.
As long as we keep forgetting, as long as we keep going back to our sleep, nothing will change. We need to take a prolonged struggle to bring about the change. Not just a few protest marches but a sustained continued struggle for a better world order. We have to be change we want to see around us. We have to change our life to be what we want in this world. Change for the better, change for good. Change so that our children witness a better future. Otherwise, we will keep forgetting and keep sleeping, till the final slumber will take us for ever.

For the parents

When I had lost my son in April this year, I prayed that no other mother has to face the same pain that I was going through. But unfortunately, in the last eight months, I have seen and heard about innumerable parents undergoing the pain of having been separated from their children. Some lost their children to disease while others to accident, but the most unfortunate of all was losing their children to terrorist attack. The loss that they have suffered is irreparable. The pain that they are undergoing is unimaginable.
Somebody asked what do you call a parent who has lost their child. I call them living dead. Every breath they take reminds them of their loss. Every face, every festivity, every playground, every school, every toy shop, every family, every baby store, every stand of small clothes, everything around them reminds them of their loss. Not only they have lost their child, they have lost their dreams, they have lost their hope, they have lost their reason for living, they have lost their prayers. They have lost their identity. They have lost their future. They exist but they do not live. Their laughter is hollow, their eyes always wet. They have lost all that they were or had ever hoped to be.

Who is a Muslim?

In today's society riddled with the so called islamic terrorism, the question arises as to who is a Muslim? There are so many who claim themselves Muslims and so many who declare them heretics.

The Ahmadis call themselves muslim but Pakistan has declared them heretics. Ismaili dawodi bohra and khoja are heretics for others. Zaydis, alawis call themselves Muslims but are heretics for others. Ithna Ashari are heretics for Salafis/Wahhabis/Saudis. Deobandis and barelvis call each other kafirs. So the question is who is a Muslim?

A Muslim is one who believes in the unity of God and does not enjoins good with evil. A Muslim is one who spreads the message of love, peace and goodness and forbids evil in his life and his surroundings. A Muslim is one who treats all humans as equal, who considers all humans as either his brothers in faith or his equal in humanity. A Muslim is one who respects everybody's right to live and right to every basic human values. A Muslim is a person who is a good human being.

Thank you Australia for understanding

Thank you Australia for understanding that a few men do not represent the beliefs of millions of other unrelated people. Thank you for not being prejudiced against the innocents. Thank you for understanding that other people are equally vulnerable. Thank you for understanding that they also require your help and support. Thank you for the hashtag "iwillwalkwithyou". Thank you for being there with the people in need. Thank you for understanding that they are also victims. Thank you for understanding that they are just like you. Thank you Australia for understanding.

For the parents of victims in Peshawar

Being a mother who has lost her own child, I know that the mothers and fathers of those children who became victim of such brutality will never find peace. They will always move with a broken heart and a grieving soul. While most of us will move ahead, the mothers will always cry over their innocent children, who lost their lives, not to disease or accident but to voluntary acts of violence.
While it is easy to say to have patience, the truth is that pain is known to only those who have faced it. The tragedy has left behind innumerable broken hearts, unfulfilled dreams and hollow promises.
Yes, they say leave everything to God, God will punish, God will do justice, but again God has said that He does not change the affairs of men till men themselves try to bring about a change. God helps, God guides but God wants us to take an active part in bringing about the change, in bringing about justice.
It is our duty to guide and bring back to the correct path those who have wandered and those who can wander. It is our duty to teach love and live a life to inspire. It is our duty to work towards common good and justice. It is our duty to bring about peace. It is our duty to spread love so that there is no more repeat of Peshawar. So that our children and their children live a happy peaceful life and attain their highest potential.

There is no God that.....

There is no God that will forgive the acts of pure evil
There is no God that will forgive slaughter of children
There is no God that will forgive the murder of humanity
There is no God that will forgive the massacre of innocence
There is no God that will choose vice over virtue
There is no God that will choose hate over love
There is no God that will choose ignorance over wisdom
There is no God that will choose revenge over forgiveness

A truly heinous crime

Attacking young innocent school children is a real low in the history of mankind. Talibans attacking a school in Peshawar is one of the most barbaric acts in the recent times. The innocent lives that were lost were too precious. Taking revenge on children, frightening children is a truly heinous act.
A bunch of coward lunatics hide behind guns and bombs, thinking that they are the best of men. They are not even human. They are lower than the lowest if creatures.
A heart that can bear to kill children cannot be a human heart. Even beasts carry greater love and sympathy in their hearts.
An attack on children, an attack on education is an attack on humanity. Once again humanity has been crucified to satisfy the lust of few creatures that are not even worthy of being called men. Shame on the perpetrators of such evil, shame on the supporters of such crimes.

Condemn the evil doer, not the innocent

I wonder if it is really necessary to spread barbaric deeds in the name of religion? Acts of violence are purely personal acts, why should anyone defame an entire group of people or an entire faith in order to satisfy one's own lust. A criminal is a criminal, the end. His birth religion has got nothing to do with it. And most probably he is absolutely oblivious to his religion. If someone has brainwashed another group of individuals, for his own personal, political gains, then blame that individual, not the other unrelated innocent beings.
Yes, anyone who supports those acts of violence, should be condemned. Such individuals who support evil should be held guilty. If someone has been brainwashed, guide them. Show them the path of truth. If someone has committed a crime, punish them. If someone instigated a crime or abets it, punish them. If someone glorifies a crime, condemn them. But not those who oppose it, just because they have some ethnic or religious similarity. Don't kill the sheep just because the wolf is dressed like them. Help them and protect them from evil. They are equally vulnerable as the rest of the society, maybe more, because they don't have refuge anywhere.

Gone too far

You are, but a figment of my imagination

You once were mine, but no longer are

How much I yearn for you to come to me

But you won't, not in this life, you have gone too far

You were a breeze that was too feeble to stay

You were the shooting star, not to be seen again

Gone too soon, gone too fast

Gone before I could hold you again

An unknown woman

Today I saw a mother carrying her teen with muscular dystrophy and couldn't stop thinking about her. She has a son who is unwell. She has modified her car to accommodate his wheeled chair and his physical requirements. She carries him around for all his work. She loves him dearly. And above all, she turned around and gave me a smile. What courage lies in her heart and in her mind, is impossible for me to understand. All I know is that she is undergoing a lot of pain and yet she has embraced it all. And she has the strength to accept it and move on with it. She has the strength to shower love and happiness to all around her. She has the strength to smile at a stranger, who could do nothing but smile back at her and reflect. Yes, reflect that while we cry at small troubles, there are people who smile through even greater pain. Reflect that life is full of challenges and questions and difficulties and we do not know what other troubles will come in our lives in future. Reflect upon the fact that whatever we have been blessed with, is too precious, to cry over. Reflect that our trials are also a blessing in the long run. Reflect upon the fact that a smile is the most beautiful gift that we can give to anyone, to cheer them up, to wipe off their tears. Reflect that strength is not in going down first, but in standing till the end.

Stay at home mother or a working mother?

I recently came across a discussion about should a woman sacrifice her career for taking care of her children? Views both in favor as well as against the question were expressed. Both views were correct in a sense that it depends from person to person. Some women grudge the fact that they had to sacrifice their career and identity to raise their children and now those children don't respect them anymore.
It made me wonder is it better for a woman to leave her children behind and go back to work, is it okay to pursue career while the child is being taken care of by a nanny? Well, when I look around in my family and friends, I see both kind of mothers. My own mother was a working woman and during my childhood I used to dislike her leaving me to go and work. My aunts were all stay at home mothers and those who worked, did only after their children had grown up, or did part time jobs. All my friends had stay at home mothers. My sister, a dentist, left her job to raise her kids. In all these women I never saw a weakling but they all were inspiration for their children. I never saw a child not respecting his mother just because she was not a career woman. In fact I saw children asking their mothers' advice every now and them. My grandmother who never went to school was a role model to everyone who knew her.
I don't know what choice I will make in the future. Though I do want to work and study some more but right now I am raising my four month old, future still lies untold.

Beta tere gham mein maa ko hosh mein aana bhool gaya
Tu jo iss duniya se sidhara, maa ke dil se chain choot gaya


Acchi thi ya buri thi, jaane kaisi meri kismat thi
Jisko dil ne pyaar se paala, saamne uski turbat thi

Strange land

I feel as if my tears would never stop
I feel as if I can cry forever
While my tears can't bring you back
I know neither can my prayers
I held you close to my heart
So close that when you went away
It broke a piece of my heart
A piece that you took away
You went to the land of no return
You went and left my empty hands
I do not know how and where you are
How far away is that strange land

Hurt

My sorrow is my own and none even tries or even pretends to share it. Even those who claim to be mine, do not care about it. How do they expect me to be a machine. What am I supposed to think or do, I do not know. I know I am all alone and nothing, not even my shadow is mine.

What celebrations?

How do you celebrate when you see agony all around you? Do you celebrate humanity killing humanity? Do you celebrate death and disease?
Do you cry over Syria, Palestine, Iraq or do you cry over poverty and starvation in Africa? Do you cry over wars and violence or do you cry over poor farmers driven to starvation or suicide in India? Do you cry over Gaza or do you cry over Kolkata? Do you cry over Middle East or do you cry over Europe? Do you cry over rapes or over child molestation? Do you cry over civil wars or after attacked aircraft? Do you cry over poached wildlife or over destroyed environment?
How do you celebrate when your heart is weeping? How do you celebrate when your dreams are shattered? How do you celebrate when humanity is killing humanity?

A thought

Not opposing the oppressor is oppression. Not raising a voice against human rights violation is oppression. Being a mute spectator when somebody is being attacked is oppression.
When men kill men, women and children, there must be something wrong with the way children have been brought up. There must be something wrong in the thinking, if there is so much hatred in this world. It seems that humanity has failed somehow.
There needs to be a change in the choices we make. There needs to be a change in the way we bring up our children. Our children are the future of this world, they should be just and kind, their hearts overflowing with love.
Our children should care for those who are weak and oppose those who are hurting them.
Our children should stand up against oppression and not be a mute spectator.

Clouds

I feel these clouds are toys for you to play
Floating where you can catch them
Shaped like a teddy for you one day
And a car and a monkey another day
Some become your swing, some your slides
Some are ropes for you to climb
Some form a field for you to run
And some are for you to jump and hide
Each day the sun forms rainbow for you
Each night the stars shine on you bright
Each day the raindrops kiss your cheeks
And birds sing lullaby for you each night

Worrying trends

The happenings in the Gaza Strip are following a worrying trend and leaving behind marks that might destroy the future of our generations with guilt. In determining what is right and what is not, the nations are divided on the grounds of religion and of their own vested interests. Humanity is being sacrificed on both the sides. Nobody is calling for truce and innocent lives are being sacrificed. Politics and power games are calling it a day.
While some are calling it self defence, others have started idolising a former dictator. Everybody is going to the extremes without thinking about peace.
Maybe all we need is a little prayer, a petition to bring about peace. An effort to save those thousands of innocent lives. Maybe all we need is to be a little more compassionate without pointing out fingers. Maybe all we need is to treat everyone with love and kindness and be together through the trials of life. Maybe all we need is to look in the mirror and make a change.

Gaza and the lack of empathy

The ongoing crisis in the Gaza Strip and the lack of international concern in itself is a matter of concern for any right minded person. The war between Israel and Palestine has escalated and innocent lives are at stake. The sheer lack of concern of the world powers to the woes of the civilians of the Gaza Strip in itself is a matter of concern and of shame. The media ignoring the plight of these people raises the question whether human rights are not for all people? Whether everyone does not enjoy the same rights and privileges? Whether freedom is for the elite few? These questions are to be asked by every human being and ponder upon the questions of equality, freedom, life and liberty.

Rape as a revenge

Recently the panchayats have shocked everyone by ordering the rape if minor girls as a means of taking revenge for something their father did. Rape is a crime against humanity and the same being used as retaliation is something even more ghastly. Treating somebody's daughter or sister as a piece of property and violating her is something to be treated by stringent punishment. A girl cannot be molested for something any of her relative did. She is her own person, has her own personality. She deserves respect and care. A minor girl is the future of the nation and she cannot be treated in such brutal manner. It is time to take action against such mentality that cannot respect a woman or a minor child.

Killing in the name of religion

It is a strange matter that nowadays everyone is ready to shed innocent blood in the name of religion. Whatever is happening in Israel and Palestine or in Iraq or Iran or Pakistan, is just the tip of the iceberg. Whether it be Muslims killing non Muslims or vice versa, whether it be Shias killing Sunnis or the other way round, at the end of the day it is ego killing humanity. If one really thinks deep down it is not killing because of religion, it is killing to acquire wealth and power under the garb of religion. The truth is that no religion advocates violence. And this killing is not for the sake of God or religion. This is killing for the sake of killing, killing for the sake of looting, for the sake of acquiring what was rightly somebody else's. This killing and torture needs to be stopped. So much of bloodshed and inhuman acts are not going to bring peace. Humanity is being crucified to please the egos and lusts of some individuals who can easily brainwash a large multitude if gullible youths. It is time to reflect upon where the world is going. It is time to take action and time to end all brutality.

Troubled

Mass killings and human rights violation have become the norm in the Muslim world today. It seems that those who follow Islam are willing to kill each other in the name of the same religion. Surely, it cannot be religion or the love for God that makes man into a beast. It has to do something with the love of the material over the spiritual that is responsible for such acts of brutality. Divine cannot pardon evil nor does it sustain it. Evil is the absence of goodness. And evil cannot be the means of achieving goodness. Love breeds love. And acts of brutality are surely against the tenets of whatsoever religion one follows.

Moving

After losing a baby myself, I find myself more sensitive towards the sufferings of others. And what can be more painful than the illness or death of a loved one, more so if it is your own child.
I pray for all the children around the world who are unwell
I pray for all the families that have been shattered by grief
I pray for those who are alone and in trouble
I pray for a better world, one that is full of love and kindness. A world where smiles are more and tears are less
While what has been done cannot be undone, those who have left us won't return
But I pray for the hearts that are still beating, may they grow strong and be full of compassion

I don't know

I don't know whether your eyes were brown or black
I don't know how your voice would sound
I don't know whether you like roses or lilies or peonies
Or would have insisted for a dog or cat or a parrot
I don't know what your dreams would be like
Or what you would like to play with
How many friends, how many games
I will never know what you will like

I see you

I see you sitting on tree branches
I see you playing in the fields
I see you hiding behind the bushes
And bursting into laughter when you spot me
I see you playing in the clouds
Jumping higher and higher
Sitting on a rock, holding a ball
Or reading a book under the shade
I see you jumping in puddles
And dirtying your new shorts
And coming with a kitten in your arms
That you found crying by the side of the road
I see you playing gently with your sister
Taking care of one and all
I see you loving and innocent
With a heart made of pure gold
I see you everywhere I look
For my heart sees where my eyes fail
For I long to hold you in my arms
As I see you running straight towards me

Seene mein ek dard reh gaya
Beta tere haq ka doodh ansoo ban gaya
Afsoos ki maa bas khadi reh gayi
Aur phool sa beta mitti mein mil gaya

Haider

Like a firefly on a dark night
You disappeared in the blinking of an eye
Leaving behind a void and a trail of darkness
And teary eyes searching in vain
A piercing pain in the heart
Speaks of where you reside
In just my memories you tslk to me
As I stand alone with my empty arms
Oh, how I long to hear your voice
Oh, how I wish to hold your hand
With a grieving heart and hollow eyes
I wait for the day we will meet again

Gone too soon

My baby left me crying holding onto his brief memories. With a short life span of 8 days and 8 and a half hours, my child left this world never to return to my arms. The beautiful flower that I had faded too soon. He came like a gentle breeze and vanished even before I could hold on to the sensation. He left me without even asking me for anything, he left me without even crying once. Like a firefly, he vanished from my sight. Oh, how much I long to hold him in my arms, I can just cry and search in vain.

The nurses tell me that God has repaired his beautiful body, his organs are in their right place and functioning properly. His heart is beating and he can breathe. The heaviness from his chest has gone. They tell me that he is running and playing and is very happy. Angels are looking after him. He is with his grandmother. He is in heaven, happy and healthy.

Problems in our country

I went for my routine check up yesterday and reached the doctor's office on time. I got all my vitals checked as well as the technicians did scan and asked regular questions and gave the report. It was only then when we asked about the doctor that we learnt that he was on a vacation. Being new in US, I marveled at the smooth functioning of the office, nothing was amiss. Everybody was performing their duties without any fail. And then I thought what would have happened if the doctor was on a vacation in our native country. All the office girls and technicians would have made a group and would be busy chatting and eating. They would neglect work, go out during their shifts, watch movies and in every sense be as irresponsible as possible.

The reason why India is still a developing country is not politics but the people. Nobody wants to do their work but everybody wants to blame others. For the general citizens, it is the duty of the government to provide them with everything but they do not feel that it is their duty to understand their responsibility towards their country and fellow countrymen. Everybody is the victim, everybody is helpless. Nobody wants to get up and do what is their duty. A country cannot progress if its citizens carry such an attitude. If we want our country to progress, we have to make it progress by understanding our responsibilities, by performing our duties.

Innocence sacrificed

The on going crisis in a number of nations like Syria, Somalia, Iraq, CAR, etc. and the state of their citizens and refugees is a heart wrenching ordeal. The greatest sufferers are the children of these countries who are being denied their basic rights like healthcare, education, nutrition, love and security. While a number of organizations are trying to provide basic amenities to these children and their parents, they are still at the receiving end. They are losing their childhood, they are losing their future. A troubled childhood invariably leads to troubled youth. Their innocence is being sacrificed, the entire generations are being lost. It is high time that the global powers come together, end the wars and the perils of these innocent victims and build a better future. Fighting can never bring peace, love comes from love.

The political drama

Politics has always been a funny game and more so during the time of elections. From name-calling other candidates to enticing the voters, politicians try every trick of the trade to ensure their victory. And sometimes, they have to bite their tongue as well. Sometimes false claims are made to prove their competence and sometimes false statements about others are spread. Everybody wants to win by hook or by crook and the poor voter is fully charged up with energy and will to change the society for better. But the most unfortunate thing is that nothing changes and the poor, little common man is always left cheated.

Child molestation, an attack on humanity

Child sexual molestation is emerging as one of the biggest problems in recent times. With its impact upon the physical and mental health of the child, sexual molestation has the potential to destroy the coming generations. The cause is unknown as often the child molested is as young as 3 or 4 years of age and is invariably left in a battered state, except that the offender has a perverted mind and needs some sort of psychological treatment. Many children fail to survive the attack, their bodies being too small to bear the harm done to it. Those who survive, are scarred for life. Most of the times, the perpetrators are either family members or friends of family or neighbors, putting a question on what region qualifies as a safe zone for the child. The desire to harm a child in itself is very barbaric in nature. Is it the helplessness of the victim or the desperation of the offender or his desire to express his strength over the weakness of his victim, the root cause, needs to be studied. But one thing is sure, parents need to be extra vigilant and not trust anyone with their child's custody. Also children must be taught as early as possible that nobody is allowed to touch them and if somebody approaches them, they should inform it to their parents or guardians immediately. Furthermore, stricter laws and their implementation needs to be in place to curb their heinous crime.

Random

Discovering one's oneself in a new land is a challenging task. After a series of painful experiences, building life afresh needs a lot of hard work and self examination and restraint has to be exercised at every step. Life gives many hard tests and raises many difficult questions and asks for many sacrifices. And the same need to be faced without any prior training or experience. Life is not meant to be a smooth ride, it is an unknown route with unknown challenges. It is not easy but it  needs to be accepted and conquered.

Mismanagement of another kind

It seems funny that certain politicians treat public property as their private property. Recently the chief minister of Uttar Pradesh decided to demolish a part of a famous stadium to turn it into a parking place for a private school. The school in question is one which is private in nature and could have managed a parking lot for itself but since a number of ministers have their daughters studying in it, a prestigious institution was made a scape goat to control the traffic problems. And the sad thing is that there is traffic problem outside every school when it gets over but a special treatment was meted out to just one particular institution for known reasons. Destroying public property in order to control traffic is not a proper solution. Instead proper steps should have been taken to manage the traffic chaos during school hours. But nobody wants to go the difficult way. And so another building becomes victim of the whims of politicians.

Wooing the Muslim votebank

One fact that the politicians are sure of is that to come into power they need the minority to vote for them. While the majority is divided on the basis of caste and class, it is the minority community that holds the key to winning the elections from the very beginning. So come the election time and everybody is running to please the minorities. From offering basic amenities to reservation and now apologies, the politicians leave no stones unturned to please the Muslim voters. But unfortunately, things are easier said than done. Had any political party had truly invested upon development, not of just one community but of the society at large, they would have been sure of victory. Had any politician developed his constituency, he would have been sure of both the majority as well as the minority community to vote for him. But sadly such is not the case. The voters are remembered just a few months before the poll while the politicians fill their pockets rest of the time. There is just a blame game between the center and the states in the name of development. While it is a corrupt practice to ask for votes in the name of religion, who is there to stop the politicians from using other forms of sweet talks.

And now lack of hygiene in UK restaurant

After the incident in USA, the next in news is a man washing his foot in a kitchen sink at a burger shop. And this time, the man is a relative of the owner who had come to visit. The explanation given, that sink is not used for cleaning or preparation purposes, so what if it is inches from where the burgers were being prepared. The incident was seen and recorded by a customer who was disgusted by it. It seems like that kitchen sinks in restaurants have changed their purpose.

The 'aam aadmi' and the party!!!

Election  after election, we witness the same things, pre-poll; politicians wooing the voters offering jobs, freebies and the like, post-poll; some temporary implementation of policies but overall no change in the condition of the general public. What effects the general public of India? It is the rising prices of essential commodities and the breakdown of law and order. The general public is not concerned about international relations, except for those with its neighbors and the countries which provide job opportunity, nor with the economy, or even with what is happening in the rural areas. One thing that the politicians know and what is seen in a number of states is that there are two prominent parties and each comes in power alternatively. The politicians know that they all are equally incapable of solving the common man's problems, so it is easier for them to sit in opposition for five years and wait for the public to vote out the other party. The politicians know how to play with the emotions of the general public, they can excite and incite for their own political gains. And the problem with the public is that they believe in half baked truths that are served on polished platter. Electorates' ignorance is politicians' bliss. Election matters are decided based on emotional turmoil instead of intelligent grounds. Besides the party also has to please the corporate sector that has funded their election expenses. So, the final political decisions are made not for the public but for the select few who exploit this public. And the ignorant public is just a puppet on chains, dangling as per the whims of the ruling party. And the net result; while the masses are suffering, the politicians and the corporate houses are making hay.

Shocking incident at pizza hut

The latest incident at the chain pizza store in West Virginia shows not just the lack of hygiene but also the mental state of people. Though the employee was suspended and the restaurant in question shut down, the problem lies deeper down. It is a complete disregard for the fellow human beings that can make a person act in such a disgraceful manner. It is not just the who cares attitude but a deep rooted hatred, maybe a jealousy for those who have greater privileges. All in all, it can be said that it is a case of lack of humanity.

I remember a similar incident in Pune where a poor roadside vendor was badly beaten up by the mob for a similar act. The difference between the two culprits was that one was a poor illiterate villager having a hand to mouth existence while the other a manager. While the wrong was same, the treatment meted out was different.

But one thing remains that after getting to know about such incidents, one tends to loose faith in human goodwill. It is not possible to trust anyone with even a simple thing as eating out. It may be called a death of morality but whatever it is, it is definitely not good for the humanity.

Random thoughts

When memories come haunting me, I do not know any peace. All that I have lost in all my years on this earth hurts me badly. Sometimes I wish I could just format my mind so I could just finally stop crying. Or else to turn back the time and live a bit differently. My grief does not let me move ahead, it does not allow me to live. Time has come when every breath seems heavy and every step weary. Maybe it would have been better if I was a mechanical being devoid of all emotions. But the truth is that I have a heart that gets hurt, that wants to be secure, that wants to be protected from any further hurt. As the tears choke my throat, I wish I was not so emotional. But the truth is that I was, I am and I will always be, getting hurt over and over again.

Learning

Six years and many unanswered question. From the time my mother passed away to now, what remains to be seen is what I have learnt. The void that had formed is still there. I have lost my biggest support, that one soul whose words that everything will be alright, were worth more than everything else. I miss her in all my joys and sorrows, in all my troubles and achievements. While a part of me has moved on, a part still remains there, hanging to whatever remenants of past I could find. I have learnt to cope with my pain and have also succeeded a bit in living my dreams. But still there is a lot that I need to learn. Hope that time will teach me how to move on, though time may not be able to heal my wounds.

Missing my mummy

I have started missing mummy more and more. I don't know if it just loneliness or that I really need her so much at this time of my life. Now I am always dreaming of her and I wake up crying. I wish she was here with me, to comfort me when I am worried but I know that it is just a wishful thinking. I I know that it is impossible to turn back time. Those who leave us don't come back. But there are certain wounds that even time cannot heal. We move on but we are never over the grief. And in extreme joys and sorrows, the heart cries out for those who have a special place inside it.

Loneliness

I wish you were still here
And not just a memory in my brain
I wish I could still touch you, talk to you
And not just see you in my dreams
With time I have lost the things that were yours
And some have just turned into dust
And I need you even more in my life
When I am all alone, when I am all alone

I am not

I am not perfect, but I strive to improve
I am not all knowing, but I try to learn
I am not the kindest, but I seek forgiveness
I am not the strongest, but I struggle a lot
Don't judge me by the fact that I fell
Or the number of times I failed
But judge me based on what I learnt from my fall
Did I pick up and improve upon myself
For if I keep repeating my mistakes
Then surely I am not the one to be trusted

Food for thought

My life is full of memories, some memories that come to haunt, some that bring a smile on a hard day. And they make me wonder what life is all about. Is it about the time spent with family and friends or is it about goals and careers? Are qualifications and jobs the only important things in life? Life is not about making goals and attaining them, earning a particular package and living a particular life. Life is about moments, it is about relations, it is about bringing a smile on somebody's face. Whatever be a person's career or how much he may earn, at the end of the day if he is not satisfied, it is all a waste. If his children go astray, his wealth is worthless. Diseases and hardships are just a test to find out the true worth of a person. Circumstances are not a man's master. Rather, a person should chart his own course, make his own destiny. All he needs to do is to make some effort and set the machinery into motion, the result awaits him after that. But his desires should not hurt anyone else. For a castle built on somebody's tears is not a castle but a mausoleum. His happiness should not come at the cost of another's hopes and requirements. And he should be aware of the fact that this world is just a passing thought and he has to move on. For he is just like millions who passed before him and the millions who will come after.