Monday 15 August 2016

Writing about children

I recently read an article about a mother who used to write about her children, their lives, their experiences from her point of view, till her father's phone call reminded her that they are individuals whose private moments cannot be shared with the public. After the realization that she is sharing their most intimate secrets with the world, facts that may haunt them in the future, she chose to stop writing about her children. It is true for most parents. Often we parade our children, their accomplishments in front of the world at large. We share photographs that might embarrass them as they grew up. we share what they say, what they do, without thinking what they might think. Often we treat our children as our trophies. But they are not our trophies or possessions. They are separate individuals. Their lives, their likes, their achievements are their own. Sure we will and we must feel proud when they succeed and encourage and comfort them when they don't. But their privacy matters and we shouldn't infringe that. When our daughter was born, we simply decided that we will not share her photographs on social media. The reason? She cannot give consent as to which photographs she would like to share and which she wouldn't. Definitely there are various other reasons why a child's photograph should not be shared, including protecting them from kidnappers and pedophiles. But for us, the most important reason was her privacy and the fact that she cannot give her consent. Maybe when she is grown up, she may decide to share her baby pictures, but until then they are kept safe in private.