Mummy

Impossible it is to say how much I miss you
And the acceptance of my loss is still not possible
They say time heals, but it is a poor healer
For my pain is as great, my wounds still deep
Deeper and deeper I am lost in my sorrow
And yet there is no one to understand one bit
Impossible it is to say how much I miss you
When all I can say is that I miss you

Loss

Sometimes when a man faces the saddest moments of his life, it is impossible to understand what it is that grieves a man the most. Is it the loss of someone or something he loves or is it the feeling, the realisation that he cannot even express his love? Many a times, one fails to even understand the value of relations while they exist. That is the time when one is in reality in loss, because such a person loses not just the loved one but also the opportunity to be kind and loving while there was time. It is a much greater loss when one has everything but time. Time to love, to give, to share. And that is the biggest loss.

You

And all my tears speak of the pain that your parting caused me
And every breath that I take reminds me of my painful existence
And every time I close my eyes I see your face and cry within
And every morning I try to figure out in my life some sense
And yet, again and again I cry out loud, calling your name aloud
And yet as I know that I am all alone I feel you deep inside
Somehow it seems that you ceased to be around me anymore
And now it is my shattered heart where you have come to reside

Sochta hoon main yahan aksar

Yeh dil mein kuch khaali sa kya hai

Iss beparwah si zindagi mein

Yeh kuch ajab sa khoya khoya kya hai

Raat ki tanhaaiyon mein bhi

Jaane kuch udaas sa kya hai

Chalte chalte raahon mein

Dhundhla sa ek saaya kya hai

Another futile attempt

Many more days searching for that perfect house passed and we finally found a place that we could call our own. A place, that was according to our taste, our expectations. And I started imagining our future life there.
And then, the thought of leaving our comfortable place freaked me out…….shifting, packing, changing address, and settling down in a whole new place, in a whole new way. And the biggest thought haunting me was of leaving the place I had first arrived at after my wedding. And so we thought over it and made some quick decisions and then reverted and then again went back.
And then we lost that place………and somebody else got it because we waited for my emotions to settle down……….
And so, that means another search, another day and a whole, new agenda. Maybe, I should try to be a little less emotional, something very difficult for me, for I have always been so emotional, with my heart ruling my mind and never being able to decide something, anything.
Maybe, we should begin afresh……..and search for our new place yet again………

Oh, how much I miss you

When all my dreams are dreams of you
And my thoughts no longer in my hold
When I move towards an uncertain path
As my life’s mysteries unfold
And I think of the time when you were here
And I was not so lone and sad
And when my eyes not so misty
And when my heart was so glad
And yet, oh time, oh time, oh time
It flies away and never returns
And I am left alone here, while you
Have gone to the land of no return

Children of dark

It is impossible to look at their smile and ignore them, when they look at you with their innocent eyes. But somehow, somewhere in that innocence is mixed a question of their anguish of their sufferings, a question though innocent is dominant in their existence as much as it is in the existence of the onlookers. What was the fault of these children that they are left to fend for themselves by roadside with their lives, their future lost in darkness? What is the reason that they exist yet they do not matter for those around them? Why was their birth a reason of sorrow and not of joy like millions of children born in privilege? Why is their life full of hunger, struggle, sorrow and strain? Who are these children of darkness, dressed in rags that appear in the daylight and then melt away in the all engulfing darkness?